Lilo's story

I went searching for information, for a community. I wanted to learn more about puppy play. I wanted to talk to people about it and exchange experiences. I wanted to know what was possible, what was out there. It’s not easy to find good information about puppy play, so finding the community was incredibly important to me, and that’s how I came across Pupspace.

It’s an app where you can meet people, post messages, and follow others. Someone posted a message about Pride, saying that anyone who wanted to join could gather somewhere, and then they would walk together in the Pride parade. I responded that I would try to go; after all, I thought it was the best way to meet people. But in the end, I couldn’t go. So I let them know. However, I had seen that a “pupnic” (a puppy picnic) was happening the next day and replied that I would be going to that.

It was the day of the pupnic. I woke up and thought, no, I’m not going. I found it incredibly scary to do this alone... Just as I had decided not to go, I got a message on Pupspace saying they were looking forward to meeting me at the pupnic. Well, now I had to go. Someone wanted to meet me. So, I gathered all my courage, packed everything, and set off. I messaged her that I was on the train, and I received a photo from her with a group that was already there. I found that reassuring; now I knew who to look for, and it looked so cozy.I arrived in Antwerp and walked toward the city park. I was so stressed, and in a way, really scared. My heart was pounding so hard, I was sweating a lot. I felt so small inside. What had I gotten myself into... I walked into the park. Now, I just needed to find the flag and where everyone was sitting. With every step I took, I felt more anxiety building up, but I had said I was there, so I had to push through... I saw them sitting there, walked up, and introduced myself as Lilo. I was given a spot and offered cookies.

Yes, I had done it. I was there. But the fear wasn’t gone yet. I looked around and saw different people sitting there, some in outfits, some not. I found the hoods fascinating to look at. I sat with the only women who were there, and that’s how I met Lila. It was pretty funny that our pup names were so similar. And we started talking a bit. Okay, I could do this. We talked about Pride, being a pup, and just who we are as people. I started to feel a bit more comfortable. The other woman goes by the name Lady Confidence and is a handler. She engaged in conversations with everyone and wanted to make everyone feel very welcome. We also spoke with her from time to time. At one point, she was talking to someone about education, and I joined the conversation. We had a delightful chat, and I began to loosen up.

More pups had joined, and I complimented them on their hoods. I found them really beautiful, but I had decided not to wear one. I felt it was a step too far and not practical with glasses... but we eventually got into a conversation about hoods, and then someone offered me to try theirs on. Now I was curious and accepted the offer. I put it on, and it felt so good. I grabbed my phone to take a picture, and I was sold. Yes, I wanted a hood now too. I then talked to people who wore glasses and learned about different versions of hoods, including those that are designed to be worn with glasses.

I was so scared of this gathering, but it felt like coming home. It was what I needed, and I met some wonderful people. I still keep in regular contact with Lady Confidence. She’s going to take me and her pup to a shop so that I can look for the right hood for me. It’s nice that she’s taking me under her wing a bit. It gives me a great sense of security. I’m also very excited to meet her pup Pika and share experiences with him.

It’s such a wonderful world with lovely people. As scared as I had been, I was so glad I went. It brought me a step closer to discovering myself as a pup.