Steven's story

Growing up, I always had the idea that I was different. But being a '90s kid, I was brought up with the doctrine of 'only stand out with good grades, not from the crowd'. I failed miserably at the first part and succeeded in the second... Needless to say that up to this day, I still live as if driving with the handbrake on. A couple of years ago, I discovered that I'm a gearhead. But I kind of ignored that, having near to none friends in the gay scene and no interest in rejoining this scene because I didn't really ever fit in...

Fast forward to a couple of years later (much more than I care to admit) when I had a rather substantial mental breakdown at work, of which I'm still recovering. During that time, I was forced to have a good look at myself and my life. Whilst browsing Instagram, I stumbled across puppyplay. Not really knowing what's what, I started looking around and discovered a universe I only vaguely remember from prides in a bygone era.

My interest was peaked and ordered my first hood. A cheap one, just in case is wasn't for me. The moment it finally arrived and put it on, was a special feeling. It's difficult to describe, but you're seeing the world in a different perspective, quite literally in fact. The snug fit gave me the same comforting feeling as I have wearing my diving gear. I started taking pictures right there and then.

But there was still the matter of my name... As my interests lie in somewhat every aspect of former Eastern-Europe, it had to do something with that. I did a lot of searching and translating, and settled on Soba. It's short for Sobaka -собака-, dog in Russian.
The world wide web led me to the Puppy Play Belgium Facebook page, where I was invited to join the Telegram group.  There, I saw a post for the after-pride Pupnic in Liège. After a lot of contemplating and doubting, I decided to go.

Now, you need to know that at this time I'm still having random mind numbing panic attacks and groups of people tend to make me nervous... Also, haven't gone out in the gay scene for some 15 odd years. Thankfully somebody offered to come with me, so now I had no excuse to bail out! Oh, how I was nervous! Meeting so many new people and pups, just the idea was overwhelming. But at the same time exhilarating to force myself out of my comfort zone.

The moment I put on my hood... It was a strangely comforting feeling, knowing you're among likeminded people, no one judging you, no weird looks, no feeling of not fitting in. It was so relaxing, I slept the next hour. Stressing out is apparently very tiring.

Despite the fact that I was really timid and shy, I had a great time talking to a few people and watching them have so much fun! Unfortunately, the handbrake I mentioned earlier was still on. Despite that, it really gave me so much energy and a feeling of belonging. I'm still enjoying it so much! I can't wait for the next gathering, the pup inside me wants to learn to play!